medications can be funny. you only take medications that are supposedly good for you. don't ask me what define "good for you". it could be something for an ailment, a tick, for an emotional meltdown... something that would relieve you.

medications are supposed to be good for you.

yes, supposedly you're good for me...

you're like a pill. it started sweet... it was a dream. like candy, slowly but surely melting in my mouth. it felt like the sweetness would never end. and i can close my eyes and still feel the amazing flavors and wonders that sweetness gave me.

now i am tasting the bitterness of the pill. don't ask me why it is there. pills were sugar-coated to begin with so people like me, stubborn-ass non-compliant patients, can take without a hitch. i guess i should have swallowed the pill, to avoid the bitterness... to avoid this acrid taste in my mouth that would make me want to spit the pill out...

yes, sometimes, i just feel like spitting the pill out. sometimes, the bitterness gets to be too much that it doesn't make sense. it doesn't matter what i feel 10 years from now, but just make this bitterness stop now.

but in a basic pill, you know that active ingredient is right inside the pill. it is the most potent, efficient and most aggressive ingredient in that pill. and if you want to get better, hell, you'd stick with the pill no matter how effing sucky the taste is.

and so, hey, i'm waiting for the active ingredient to dissolve in my mouth.

is it pain and hurt?

is it love and joy?

part of me believes that whatever the hell is in this pill, i can take it. no, not because i have this amazing tolerance level of really bad tastes. not because i have been paralyzed by the bitterness. but because the pill can give me something i need later.

if it is pain and hurt, i can be stronger after. only because pain fortifies you. it makes you a warrior. it allows you to be a fighter. it provides you the will to go on to stop the pain. the hurt forces you to look up and say that i never deserved that and i should be ready to move on. the hurt allows you to bleed and the scar tissue that forms will be stronger than anything else. supposedly, if you break your bone, this amzing calcification process happens. your body knows what is broken and it "bridges" the bones together using calcium deposits and other types of scra tissues. after the bones heal and fuse thanks to the hardening of the deposits, that area will be harder to break, tougher to destroy. the human body is amazing, it provides with you limitless chances to regenerate, to grow again the part that was lost or was broken. believe me, i am not a fragile piece of glass. i am human-flash and bones. i know how to heal, and i know that healing takes place only if you concede to the fact that something to begin with. and if you immobilize that hurt part first. you give me pain and hurt, i'll probably be happy alone for a while. not because i have turned bitter but because i'm trying to get the calcification process going.

if it is love and joy, then i can love back. unconditionally. this time, ready to brave continents and oceans. this time, more than ever.

how come i feel it is hurt and pain?

either way, i'm glad i took the medication. because i know you're good for me.

because i know that having you again, or not having you at all, something has changed.